Panic Attack in Slow Motion

Each and every single day.
Because you're not enough. You are never enough for nobody.
And since you're not enough, you should be more of what you can be so people can love you.
Because that's what we are all after, right?
Somebody to love you. Somebody to make you his/her priority.
But turns out... people don't give a goddamn shit about anybody else.
And that is sad, and selfish.
People are selfish, the whole humanity is selfish. I am selfish too.
So.
WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO BELONG TO SOMEBODY SO SELFISH THAT CAN'T EVEN MAKE YOU HIS/HER PRIORITY?!?!?!?! for just one minute?
There is always something/someone more important that you.
Unless you have something to give them, something that would serve them to make yourself worthy in their eyes. At least for the duration of that thing.
And you go out with people hoping to find that one person that would look beyond everything that is in sight.
But they never do.
They will always seek for that one thing you can give them that will make THEM happy.
And you try different things but it is always the same result.
Everything is useless.
And sometimes you say "I don't care. Whatever"
The truth is you care.
Probably you care more than you should.
Probably is everything you think about.
And the doors are slammed in your nose, and people leave you, and disappoint you, and walls are closing in on you.
And you desperately cry in whispers for help.
For the world to just make a pause because you need to understand how everything goes.
You need to re-evaluate your strategy towards the world.
But it doesn't stop. Things continue to happen, people continue to leave you, walls continue to close in on you and doors continue to get slammed in your nose.
And you are left outside.
And there is nobody else to listen to you.
Or just to hold you, or to help you pause the world while you try to understand why you are not worthy enough.
And the windows and doors won't open for you.
Because you are disappointing.
And that is the problem.
So after hours of ignoring the world because it won't stop for anybody, and after hours of over analyzing everything you get to the answer:
YOU are the problem.
How else would you explain that everybody is so comfortable and you can't fit in anywhere?
Thing is. Everybody think they don't fit in. 
And there is a little quiet voice inside your head that is trying to tell you that you don't need to fit in.
Fuck people. We do not care. We are what we are.
Might as well be a happy walking problem.
A happy walking bunch of insecurities and mental confusions.
A singing smiley emotion puzzle nobody will ever understand.